Some time ago I spoke to a former colleague after a gap of almost 20 years. While reminiscing our times together he remarked, “A first job is like a first love”.
That remark has stuck with me the last few months. It was chance that I also happened to meet a couple of colleagues of mine from my first company just yesterday, some after a gap of 20 years. Yesterday’s meeting helped me to focus on those lines and I have attempted to understand the similarities between the two, the first job and the first love.
It finally came down to these lines from Tim McGraw:
“Like an old photograph
Time can make a feeling fade
But the memory of a first love
Never fades away.”
When we join our first jobs we are young and idealistic and money has not blinkered our approach. The sense of right and wrong and fairness are still embedded from a life spent in school and college getting an education at times far removed from reality. It’s something like being in love for the first time, no right, no wrong, just love, just affection?
With time we become more cynical, and begin to realize, that on the scales weighing right and wrong, the scales will always tilt towards the side of benefit. The victories and failures which will come later, maybe in different jobs, will ground us out of an idealistic approach.
I noticed that when we got together, it was so much easy to relax and talk, of days when we did crazy things, crazy gossips. There was virtually no malice or anger, just fond memories.
It may be that time smoothens some of the roughness of past engagements and incidents, but what we all would agree is that the mystique and pleasure of getting the first pay check, is unforgettable. The memories and people associated with that first pay check will always linger on.
That remark has stuck with me the last few months. It was chance that I also happened to meet a couple of colleagues of mine from my first company just yesterday, some after a gap of 20 years. Yesterday’s meeting helped me to focus on those lines and I have attempted to understand the similarities between the two, the first job and the first love.
It finally came down to these lines from Tim McGraw:
“Like an old photograph
Time can make a feeling fade
But the memory of a first love
Never fades away.”
When we join our first jobs we are young and idealistic and money has not blinkered our approach. The sense of right and wrong and fairness are still embedded from a life spent in school and college getting an education at times far removed from reality. It’s something like being in love for the first time, no right, no wrong, just love, just affection?
With time we become more cynical, and begin to realize, that on the scales weighing right and wrong, the scales will always tilt towards the side of benefit. The victories and failures which will come later, maybe in different jobs, will ground us out of an idealistic approach.
I noticed that when we got together, it was so much easy to relax and talk, of days when we did crazy things, crazy gossips. There was virtually no malice or anger, just fond memories.
It may be that time smoothens some of the roughness of past engagements and incidents, but what we all would agree is that the mystique and pleasure of getting the first pay check, is unforgettable. The memories and people associated with that first pay check will always linger on.
13 comments:
Thanks Sunil Mohan Ji for touching my pet area of research interest.
An unpublished research by me with more than 1500 managers at various levels shows that the learning is maximum during first five years of one's career.
Interesteingly first boss/colleagues/first organisation leave a permanent impact both positive and negative.
There are lot of implications in handling freshers
Cheers
PVR Murthy
Nice. But it may not always be first job. I could be the first nice and proper job. In my case, the second was like the first love!
Yes sunil,
Really true.
It has those fond memories which last live long.
First job and first salary has a sence of fulfilment
It is the beginning, & invitation many more excitements.
All second happenings have no charm to give.
Yes! It is quite a life's threshold for many people. We will never forget it.
And, yes I agree with Dr. Pradhan, as any first is unforgettable.
And I think it should really impact how organizations view their new joinees, as this is very much linked with how those organizations deal with their knowledge management processes.
I think that depends if your first job is the job of your dreams, the one you thought you would get right out of college or if it's a stepping stone to get where you want to be. Many college kids are disillusioned by the fact that some of the entry level jobs are learning experiences, menial or repetitive in nature, not testing their metal so to speak. Lucky are those who land in good companies with good opportunities for growth, other are less fortunate, so it really depends on where the graduate starts off. In any event it is a new and exciting start to the beginning of their career and will probably always be remembered.
Dear Sunil,
In thinking about this in more depth, its quite interesting and quite insightful.
In a first love there is a lot of exploration that occurs (without being too explicit) with the other person and I think more importantly yourself. You are finding out a lot about yourself as a person, your passions, and what you truly love doing, experiencing new territories and exploring new and exciting ways of doing things. You collaborate, connect and there is a playfulness as you are learning about so many broad aspects of life. There is an aspect of team work, managing multiple stakeholder relationships (friends, family, potential new suitors,etc.), decisions need to be made, budgets have to be looked at and an overall review of how the relationship is progressing. If it's not working you start to have a dialogue with the person and talk about what may well be wrong and how it can be sorted out, if nothing can be worked out then you extract yourself and look for a new relationship.
Now in my first graduate job out of university - there is a lot of exploration that occurs, with many people and more importantly yourself. You are finding out a lot about yourself as a person, your passions, what you truly love doing, experiencing new territories and exploring new and exciting ways of doing things. You collaborate, connect and there is a playfulness as you are learning so many broad aspects of a business / industry etc. There is the aspect of team work, managing multiple stakeholder relationships (manager, peers, teams, friends, family etc.), decisions need to be made, budgets have to be looked at and an overall review of how the work is progressing. If it's not working you start to have a dialogue with your manager and talk about what may well be wrong and how it can be sorted out, if nothing can be worked out then you extract yourself and look for a new job.
Funny isn't it I could go on all day!!! I like the analogy and similarities! :-)
Thanks for posting this Sunil a lot of fun!
Actually, I don't think I really answered your question - yes both are unforgettable! For me anyway!
All the best,
Samir
Dear Sunil,
In thinking about this in more depth, its quite interesting and quite insightful.
In a first love there is a lot of exploration that occurs (without being too explicit) with the other person and I think more importantly yourself. You are finding out a lot about yourself as a person, your passions, and what you truly love doing, experiencing new territories and exploring new and exciting ways of doing things. You collaborate, connect and there is a playfulness as you are learning about so many broad aspects of life. There is an aspect of team work, managing multiple stakeholder relationships (friends, family, potential new suitors,etc.), decisions need to be made, budgets have to be looked at and an overall review of how the relationship is progressing. If it's not working you start to have a dialogue with the person and talk about what may well be wrong and how it can be sorted out, if nothing can be worked out then you extract yourself and look for a new relationship.
Now in my first graduate job out of university - there is a lot of exploration that occurs, with many people and more importantly yourself. You are finding out a lot about yourself as a person, your passions, what you truly love doing, experiencing new territories and exploring new and exciting ways of doing things. You collaborate, connect and there is a playfulness as you are learning so many broad aspects of a business / industry etc. There is the aspect of team work, managing multiple stakeholder relationships (manager, peers, teams, friends, family etc.), decisions need to be made, budgets have to be looked at and an overall review of how the work is progressing. If it's not working you start to have a dialogue with your manager and talk about what may well be wrong and how it can be sorted out, if nothing can be worked out then you extract yourself and look for a new job.
Funny isn't it I could go on all day!!! I like the analogy and similarities! :-)
Thanks for posting this Sunil a lot of fun!
Actually, I don't think I really answered your question - yes both are unforgettable! For me anyway!
All the best,
Samir
My first job was for IBM at Technical Services. I was 19, unexperienced, but enthousiastic and ready to learn. My first boss gave me a chance I will never forget and I learned about responsability, money, computers and life. I will never ever forget my first job, it made who I am today 30 years later.
Provided it's sufficiently challenging, and you have good mentors, your first real job can lay the groundwork for a solid future. Conversely, it can also set you on the wrong path. Those who have the opportunity to intern or to get into management training programs just out of school should count themselves extremely fortunate.
Judy Margolis
Unforgettable as in I still remember it or unforgettable as in "changed my life".
I'll say the first - probably. The latter - depends.
First jobs are usually not career jobs. When I was 16 I worked for a drywall company stocking job sites with sheetrock. I've never worked so hard in my life. Then there was a grocery store followed by a part-time concrete laborer. I remember these for different reasons. They are generally unforgettable and taught me lessons for sure.
Organizations should look at every employee with some level of respect and caring. Employers should always seek to improve the lives of those who are giving their time to promote the business no matter what level or occupation.
Hi Sunil, not always true. But when the first "big world" job is a good one, than most probably it will stay in the back of your mind. The company I work for does indeed give the new (and keeps it with the old) that feeling that their first job is special and should be remembered positively. They have to work for it, but the company enables them to come to that conclusion. They can leave, but with a positive attitude.
WR,
Jan van Ommen
Director Governance, Risk & Compliance
If you're talking about the bastard I would gladly torture to death in the town square, who broke my heart and made me mad beyond all reason, that would be what my first job was like... :-)
I'll remember the good stuff, though, and just say that work really doesn't have to be like love. I mean, at the end of the day, lately, for me, love is not something I associate with my job anymore... :-)
I love my work, not my job.
Melania
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